What I realized when I read this verse is that there is a distinct difference between feeling joy in a moment God gave to me, and pursuing those moments as the only way to fill my soul. I don’t need to withhold my joy when I feel it bubbling up, but I do need to be sure that what I seek is not simply that joy.
I am not worthy of this call on my own, but because he chose me for the call of motherhood, I am worthy. It is not my own patience, my own shining parental abilities, my own strength, or my own ideas. It is hands down, plain and simple, only the grace of God that enables me to get through each day.
Above all else, in every conversation, in every facet of our life, we need to love God and love our neighbor. And who is our neighbor? Everyone, or as my two year old says “all the peoples.” We are called to love our enemies, and we will be known to others by this love.
In these incredible times of trouble, there was nowhere to look but up, so look up we did. And the Lord was with us: weeping with us, pushing through closed doors with us, opening up opportunities, holding us, being strong for us, being patient with us. Every time there was an impossible roadblock, something no human could surpass, the Lord provided a way, and it was always more, and better than anything we could have created ourselves.
David picked up five stones that he knew had defeated his adversaries in the past to use against this giant Goliath. These five stones may have seemed insignificant, or unworthy of defeating the giant, but with God behind them, they were unstoppable. When we face a giant, we need to look back at what has served us before, and use it again. We need to look back and see how our experiences have shown the Lord to be faithful.
The Lord has to be greater than my fear. I have told so many people that, I’ve proclaimed it to be true, for everyone else. And, in this venture, I will proclaim its truth for myself, for my life, for my calling to write. The Lord has made me a writer and I will no longer beg him to call someone else. I will go, and he will “be with me as I speak, and will instruct me in what to say.”