Let It Go

I never thought that dropping off my second daughter at her first day of kindergarten would be so uneventful. She has been the attached one, the one who acted out for babysitters, the one who needs cuddles, and still naps in the afternoon at the age of 5 and a half. She has been a rock star through this pandemic, and this mama has been more nervous about the new than she has. 

I was nervous about a five year old sitting in front of a computer watching videos, and using the internet. She was amazing at it, can navigate the web as well as I can, and stays focused and engaged through two hour zoom meetings. I was nervous about her not knowing her classmates, and not making friends, but she’s gotten so close with her sister, brother, and our Covid bubble of friends, and hasn’t missed a beat.

As the first day of in-person kindergarten rolled out, and the precautions and rules were given, I was yet again nervous about how she would react. My girls have to go to school in the afternoon, during her normal quiet/nap time hours. She has to wear a mask the entire time. She has to do her best to socially distance from her classmates, and most gut-wrenchingly, Mama doesn’t get to walk her into class every day. She is so blessed to have a big sister that looks out for her, and will walk her to her classroom every afternoon, but it’s not me. 

So today as I drove through the line of cars, pulled over and opened the door, she hopped out, said “bye mom,” and walked through the gates of the school with her sister. Literally looking like she’d been doing it her whole life. She is stronger, braver, and more roll with the punches than I ever could be.

I’ve done a lot more worrying since this whole COVID mess began, and I’ve also done a lot more praying. And in that praying I’ve often said the phrase “Lord take care of ______.” I have inserted so many names, and circumstances into that blank, I could fill literal books with them. I have nothing left to offer, nothing left to give, but I know that the Lord can take care of them. The Lord can take care of my babies as they head off into school. The Lord can take care of my friends as they enter hospitals for work. The Lord can take care of my church leaders as they decide how to proceed in this new normal. The Lord can take care of my friends as they handle anxiety, loss, change, and sorrow. The Lord can take it, even when I cannot. 

“Cast all your cares on him because he cares for you…” 1 Peter 5:7

I honestly had to look up the scripture reference because I’ve had these words rolling around in my head for over a year now. I can worry up a storm, I can worry about every single thing in life, but he is asking me to give it to him simply because he cares. And he will care for my babies. 

He will care for my eldest daughter, the perfectionist, and remind her she’s enough. He’ll care for my nervous middle daughter and assure her there is nothing to fear. And he will care for my youngest son, and remind him to speak his mind and not be afraid. He knows them even better than I do, so I don’t need to worry. He will care for them in ways I don’t even know how to, I will let him take care of them.

So let’s pray for our babies, our friends, our pastors, but let’s also let go of the worry, and let God care for them. He will care for them perfectly because our Father in heaven is perfect. So today say a little prayer “Lord take care of…” and then, in the infamous words of Elsa “Let it go!”

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